


A Court of Nightmares and Light - Part III - The Blood Moon

by LilweenGalatrass



Series: A Court of Nightmares and Light [3]
Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Gen, Mentions of blood trauma PTSD rape, Multi, Slow Burn, Smut, is it a slow burn if they are in love and together but separated?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:29:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29987739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilweenGalatrass/pseuds/LilweenGalatrass
Summary: "Canna. Cardinal. Lycoris. Roses. The Blood Moon will see him free. The Immortal. The Thief. He will come and steal the promised blood. The Bird is his beginning and his end. The Blood Moon will reveal the secret. In fire and blood, the Two-Faced Sun and the Cauldron-blessed Kingslayer will court the Deathless’ rise.”They had thought they had broken Vassa's spell and put a stop to Koschei's scheme, but they had been fooled. Koschei claimed his blood, Elain, exchanged for Vassa, so he can use the magic of the Blood Moon, during the next Winter Solstice, a few months away, to free himself from his prison. The HIgh Fae's forces on the Continent are also stirring and war is imminent.Lucien is desperate to get his mate back, even if for that he will have to fight all of Prythian, and all the Continent, and an ancient god of death, to save Elain.
Relationships: Elain Archeron/Lucien Vanserra, Elucien, Feyre Archeron/Rhysand, Helion/The Lady of the Autumn Court (ACoTaR), Nesta Archeron/Cassian
Series: A Court of Nightmares and Light [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1704550
Comments: 5
Kudos: 15





	1. The Promised Blood

FANFICTION

A COURT OF NIGHTMARES AND LIGHT

PART III – THE BLOOD MOON

CHAPTER XXXII : The Promised Blood

_The arrow glinted, it captured the light of the sun. A weapon shouldn't be so pretty. And a woman holding such a weapon, with such a dangerous look in her eyes, shouldn't look so tempting._

_A drop of red blood gathered at the tip of the arrow, to the same rhythm as the blood rolled down from the Archer's hand down to her elbow. The blooddrop fell on the ground, splashing over white Lycoris. The light flower shook and suddenly, the entire field of Lycoris were painted carmine. Red as blood, red as fire, red as that burning gaze._

_The arrow flew, and he died._


	2. Beginning of Hell

FANFICTION

A COURT OF NIGHTMARES AND LIGHT

PART III – THE BLOOD MOON

CHAPTER XXXIII : Beginning of Hell

_ Many, many, many centuries ago, in the Autumn Court… _

The beautiful leaves flittered in the wind, dancing jewels in all the colours of joy. Laughter and excited running steps echoed in a luxurious manor lost in the middle of the massive trees.

"Father is back!"

"Hurry up!"

"We'll finally know if we can go!"

"Hurry, Lucasta!"

Three young and beautiful High Fae, all with shining hair were running through the halls of their family manor to welcome their father who was finally back from his journey to the High Lord's estate. Beron had become High Lord, after his father's accident, and rumour was that he was looking for a beautiful and powerful bride to produce his heir, the next High Lord of the Autumn Court.

Lucasta finally joined her two older sisters, glancing quickly around to see the servants lined up, and their mother waiting patiently. All three daughters had inherited their mother's beauty and sumptuous red hair, though all three had different shades. Säde, the oldest and the most beautiful, had hair dark as mahogany. Oriana had the lightest hair, strawberry blond, like red gold. Both had their mother's green eyes. Lucasta, the youngest, had long straight hair in a deep ruby red colour, bright as a jewel and shiny as copper. Her eyes came from her father, a deep russet that enchanted almost every male who crossed her gaze.

Their father's coach finally appeared from between the trees and arrived quickly to the estate. He climbed down from it, stern as always in his big dark coat and his dark brown hair. The russet of his eyes revealed the fire that was burning in him, in all his daughters, inherited from a High Lord ancestor millennia ago.

He arrived, gave his hat and coat to the butler, then turned to his family. His wife smiled and walked to him, giving a respectful bow. He then turned towards his daughters lined, who copied their mother's welcoming gesture. He looked at them from head to toe, expecting perfect ladies and finding absolute perfection.

"Welcome back, father," Säde said impatiently, "So? Are the rumours true? Does High Lord Beron desire a bride?"

Their father turned his attention towards Säde, then smiled with a nod.

"It is true."

The two older daughters shrieked in excitement, already dreaming of catching the attention of the most eligible bachelor in the entire Autumn Court – possibly most of Prythian, all the other High Lords were married and with children.

"He doesn't seem inclined towards any female or family more than any other, which is to our advantage. With my three daughters considered the jewels of the Autumn Court, I have no doubt he will turn his attention towards you at one point or another. It will be your duty to catch said-attention, and _keep_ it."

"Our family's esteem will grow considerably if we marry one of you to the High Lord," their mother added.

"I am certain you will make us proud."

"When will we go to the High Lord's estate then?" Oriana asked curiously.

"He has invited all the great families of the Autumn Court for the Autumn Equinox ball."

"The Autumn Equinox ball will be magnificent!"

"I am so excited!"

"There will be so many people!"

"With so many noble guests gathered in one place, I doubt the High Lord will have any time to dedicate to any lady," Lucasta piped in.

Her father turned to her, without dropping his smile:

"Don't worry, my dear. I am sure he'll find plenty of time to enjoy the festivities with you or your sisters."

Lucasta hid her grimace well, at the idea of being looked at and prized by the High Lord. She couldn't deny that the idea of gaining his attention was flattering. The idea of falling in love with a powerful and handsome male made her stomach flutter with butterflies. She was young and full of innocent dreams. But the few times she had encountered High Lord Beron, she had been left cold as stone. There was nothing particularly charming about his figure, he barely smiled except to mock others, and there was something in his brown eyes… Something fiery that made her uneasy. It was a similar fire to the one she had inherited but there was no comforting warmth in those eyes. Only ashes and destruction.

Her sisters' excitement and beauty though, would definitely attract the High Lord's attention. Many times now, Säde had taken walks with him, before he was even a High Lord, and it didn't take much to understand that Säde had the ambition of becoming the next Lady of the Autumn Court. She was the most beautiful of the three, after all. She wanted power and status, more than love and passion, and everything pointed in the direction that her hopes would become reality.

Everyone thought so. Säde, her sisters believed it too, so did their parents, most nobles and families…

Which was why, weeks later at the Equinox ball, when the three daughters of Lord Meallan were lined up to greet High Lord Beron, everyone was astonished when he stopped in front of _Lucasta_. She blinked, stunned, then bowed as the most powerful male of the Autumn Court looked her from head to toe.

"Would you do me the honour of dancing with me, Lady Lucasta?" he asked with a perfect bow, and a smirk she despised.

Lucasta took too long to answer, she flushed and felt the glare of her older sister. She couldn't refuse the High Lord, she couldn't, and yet, her mouth was about to form a sentence that would condemn her entire family–

"Of course, my lord. She will be honoured," her mother answered in her place, giving a light push in Lucasta's back.

She stumbled forward and automatically took the High Lord's hand. For a male whose power was fire, it was strangely cold.

To the entire court's shock, and the foreign guests' surprise, Lady Lucasta was chosen by High Lord Beron to open the Equinox Ball.

They danced beautifully, perfectly, as she had been raised to be.

_Perfection_.

The High Lord barely hid his interest for the rest of the evening but everything she had always assumed felt like it was crumbling around her. She was the youngest, she was young, too young, she had barely started thinking about marriage – even less to a High Lord!

It was her sister's hopes, Säde liked Beron and Lucasta had always assumed he felt the same. Why had he turned his attention to _her?_ How could she ever face her sister again after tonight?

She wanted romance and love, not cold courtship and family's expectations. She had always been a perfect daughter, a perfect lady, to become a perfect wife and mother, but _tonight_ , the weight of everything she had been raised to become was strangling her. She wanted to scream but no one paid her any mind.

The moment she could free herself from the High Lord's attention and the court's nasty eyes, she escaped in the garden. She had hoped the fresh air would lessen her anguish, but it did nothing. She could still hear the music, she could still feel his cold hands on hers, she could feel their gazes and their grins.

Her steps turned longer and longer and quickly, she was running. Her high-heels resonated in the night, until the music faded away and the only light left was the moon. She ran through the estate's labyrinth, her dark green dress bringing out the fire of her eyes and hair. She wanted to escape, to tear herself apart and away from this family, this court, this future they had already decided for her before she had even considered it.

She ran right into someone's hard chest and fell backwards on the ground. Panic surged through her and she raised her hands, lighting them on fire:

"I'm sorry!" she exclaimed, breathing hard.

The male she had just hit looked down at her and she lost her breath.

His skin was dark and smooth from hours spent in the sun, his golden eyes shone from her flames as if lit from a fire of its own, and his black hair had an aureole of moonlight. After a short moment of shock, he knelt down, handing out his hand to her:

"I am not as sorry as I should be, for encountering someone as stunning as you are, my lady. Surely, you must be a goddess come down to take me away in her faraway palace?" he said with a smile.

Lucasta's heart missed a beat and she felt her cheeks flush. He was handsome, made of sharp, beautiful lines, elegant as a statue. And his smile… his smile sent waves of heat through her body.

"But still, I should be the one to apologise, my lady. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear you come. Let me help you."

He waited for Lucasta to put her hand in his, warm and rough to touch. He helped her up with ease, then handed her a tissue made of silk.

She hesitated, and only then did she realise that she had tears streaming down her cheeks. Flushed from embarrassment, she turned away, patting away the traitorous drops. She was about to hand him his tissue back, but he shook his head, never letting his gaze away from her.

"Keep it, you might need it again."

Apologetic, she held it close in her hands, the smooth fabric feeling like flowing water against her fingertips.

"May I…"

The gentlemale, who had been so confident and serene this entire time, seemed to hesitate, as taken aback by her beauty as she was with his. He held out his arm and she put her hand against the inside of his elbow.

"Is there anything I can do to chase those tears away, my lady?" he asked softly.

Lucasta looked up at him, enchanted by his beautiful eyes that shone like the sun itself. Her grip tightened, unconsciously, and he put his other hand on top of hers. Shivers ran down her back.

"You called me a goddess, here to take you away in my palace. I would wish for such a blessing, my lord…"

He tightened his mouth, then brought her hand to his lips.

"Helion, my lady."

Her mouth ran dry. Helion Spell-Cleaver, the second son of the High Lord of the Day Court. She had heard rumours of his handsomeness, but they had underestimated the true nature of his charm. He certainly was a beautiful creature to look at, but there was something magnetic in his warmth.

"I am Lucasta," she answered, not bothering with her surname.

"Lord Meallan's daughter," Helion realised, his eyes widening slightly.

He threw a glance over his shoulder, towards the estate where the Equinox Ball went on and on. It didn't matter that she had disappeared, no one would notice for hours, maybe even days. Beron would never grieve her and he would turn his attention back on Säde. How she wished she could disappear.

Helion looked back at Lucasta, then lowered his gaze. Silently, they understood each other. He understood her panicked running, the silent tears on her face, and the looming shadows in her features. The shadows that were waiting in her future. Never before had he wanted to cast light as he did now.

"Lady Lucasta, is there anything I can do to help you chase those tears away? I would hate to part from you, tonight, without being blessed by your smile at least once."

Lucasta turned her attention back on him, his words resonating in her mind, and his smile causing havoc to her heart. Her lips tilted up in unexpected amusement, and a bubbly laughter escaped her. She raised her fingers to her mouth, surprised herself by the ease with which he had made her smile and laugh.

And she relaxed. Just like that, her shoulders drop, the knot in her stomach disappeared, and her fears were pushed away.

Helion sensed the change in her, and smiled gladly. He led her to a nearby bench and they talked. Of anything and everything, what they loved doing, what they loved seeing in Prythian, their favourite places, their favourite stories, their favourite music… It was so easy for them to talk and be at ease.

In the middle of the night of the Autumn Equinox ball, despite the darkness surrounding them and awaiting in their future, they forgot about it. Helion became Lucasta's sun in the night, and Lucasta became Helion's fire in the depths of his heart.

After that Equinox Ball, High Lord Beron decided to invite Meallan's daughters more and more often to his massive estate. At first, they were invited along with other families and dignitaries, for festivities. Then, they joined their father when he became a guest at one of High Lord Beron's great hunts. Then, they came back, invited by Beron's mother. Each time, High Lord Beron found time to spend with all three daughters, Lucasta most of all, and each time, Lucasta found time to spend in secrecy with Helion.

He was a guest at the Autumn Court, as a representant of the Day Court, and he should have gone back to his travels weeks ago but he found the Autumn Court too pretty to leave. Of course, the only pretty thing he had any interest in was Lucasta herself.

At first, they met shyly in the middle of the night, in the great labyrinth where they had first met. Then, Helion found enough boldness to come and claim her hand when all the lords and ladies walked around the forest. He remained a perfect gentleman through it all and nobody suspected their attraction to one another. Then, little by little, the more Lucasta felt smothered by the court and High Lord Beron's smothering attention, the more she escaped at night to explore the estate. Somehow, Helion always seemed to know when she needed him, he always appeared, and her steps always guided her to him.

His innocent touches became caresses, tracing her fingers, against her skin, up to her arms, the back of his hand against her cheeks. Those simple touches left her breathless and yet, he never dared kiss her. They wanted it, they were burning for it, but they kept away for the simple reason that they knew, deep down, that the moment their lips would meet, they would never part.

"I don't want to marry High Lord Beron," Lucasta declared to her family one day they had received yet another invitation from the High Lord.

Her parents turned incredulous looks at her, then laughed, as if she was joking. Her two sisters remained silent, but glanced at each other knowingly.

"What are you talking about? Of course you'll marry him, it will make our family prestigious beyond all of our hopes!" her mother exclaimed.

"I am flattered by his attentions, but I don't like him, I don't _want_ him," Lucasta continued, remaining firm as she stood before them.

"Whether you like him or not doesn't matter. _He_ likes you, _he_ wants you, so you will marry him," her father said with a dismissive gesture of the hand.

"But, father, I don't understand! He never saw me, he never was interested in me! All he wanted was Säde, why would he change his mind?!"

Her older sister tightened her lips, but held Lucasta's gaze. Oriana glanced between the two, and remained quiet.

"Because I told him so," Meallan said with a shrug.

"You _what_ –" Säde hissed, standing up, "I could be the Lady of the Autumn Court by now if you hadn't intervened! Why would you do that?!"

Lord Meallan turned his dark gaze, a flicker of annoyance burning in it, towards his daughters.

"Because High Lord Beron is looking for a wife who will give him strong heirs. He wants someone whose magic is powerful. You are beautiful, Säde, but you have little to no magic. Lucasta is the most powerful one."

Lucasta's mouth fell open. Her sisters turned to her, stunned, but a light of understanding lit up in their gazes.

"This is ridiculous, he could marry Säde and still–"

"It was you or Alafon's daughter! I wasn't going to let the honour of you becoming High Lord Beron's wife, the title of Lady of the Autumn Court, slip away!"

"But I don't want to marry him!"

"WHAT YOU WANT!" Meallan shouted, standing up suddenly.

All the females in the room startled but Lucasta held his gaze, she squared her shoulders and looked right into that pit of fire that were his eyes.

"What you _want_ doesn't matter! I have already consented to give him your hand, you will become his wife, you will give him sons, and you will become the Lady of the Autumn Court!"

His voice was hard as stone and didn't leave any option. Lucasta's eyes blurred as she realised, once again, that everything had been decided for her without her opinion or consent. Her father had already decided for her, he had already consented to the marriage.

She opened her lips to speak up again but he whipped towards her so suddenly that she startled away, turning away her face in fear of retaliation.

"ONE MORE WORD– and I will lock you up in the dungeons until you are to depart for the High Lord's estate!" Meallan hissed viciously.

Säde and Oriana stood up and grabbed their little sister's arms, dragging her away as she breathed heavily.

"Pack up all your belongings, you will never come back in this house. In three days, you will depart for the High Lord's estate and it will become your home." Her father said as final words.

The two older sisters took Lucasta to her chambers, sending the servants away. The moment they were alone, Lucasta fell into sobs on her bed, crying endless tears and mourning a future she didn't want and had been decided for her.

"Shh, shh," Oriana said, holding her close to her chest, "It's… it's a great honour to become the High Lord's wife, surely he will warm up to you in the future."

"I don't want him! I don't like him! Säde, please, surely you can convince father, and Beron!"

Säde slowly turned around, lips tight and her eyes stormy.

"You heard father… High Lord Beron wants a powerful wife, not a beautiful one. Are you… are you refusing because of Lord Helion?"

Lucasta's gasp echoed in the room, all three sisters now holding their breaths. Lucasta had paled and with her tears-streaked cheeks, she looked devastated. Säde sighed then walked towards the bed to sit on it.

"H-how did you… how did you know? Does anyone else know–"

"No, I'm the only one, as far as I'm aware. I found out because you smelled strange the last time. So… I followed you when you sneaked out…"

"Lucasta! How could you do that! If anyone finds out, if father or Beron finds out–"

"He'll have my head and Helion's," Lucasta breathed.

"Don't be so dramatic, as long as nothing happened between you two, they won't care. Beron just doesn't want a soiled bride–"

Lucasta turned away from Oriana and Säde glared at her:

"Oriana, please. You know that Lucasta isn't interested in status like us, she wants a marriage of love. But… I'm not sure Helion is–"

"He likes me! I know it!" Lucasta exclaimed, whipping around.

"Did he tell you so?" Oriana whispered.

"N-no, but…"

"He hasn't claimed you either, he hasn't confessed to you, and he's… got an habit of going around. Lucasta, surely you realise that Beron is the safest and best choice–"

"NO! He's not! He's a wicked, cruel male! I hate him!" Lucasta exclaimed, more tears rolling down her cheeks.

Säde sat next to her little sister and grabbed her cheeks, looking straight into her eyes.

"Lucasta, little sister, do _you_ like him? Do you like Helion?" she asked in an unshakable voice.

"I… I… I think so… I… there's a connexion between us… I can't explain, I just– I just… he feels right."

Säde bit her lower lip, then glanced at Oriana who sighed, knowing that look on her sister's face.

"Then if he is the one for you… you should go after him, sister."

"But how? I'm leaving to marry Beron in three days! And I–"

"In three days, your engagement to High Lord Beron will be announced. Everyone will be too busy drinking and celebrating to pay you any mind. I-I'll make sure Helion waits for you, and you can go with him."

"And if he doesn't receive the message, if he doesn't come?" Oriana asked nervously, "It will mean treason, and death for all of us!"

Säde smirk was positively wicked, but Lucasta had never felt so reassured by her sisters' presence.

"Have you not noticed that Lord Helion always comes when he knows we'll be here? Even a womanizer like him wouldn't risk war over a bride if he wasn't serious about Lucasta."

"…Then, this is our only option to send Lucasta away… and what of us?" Oriana asked, titling her head on a side, her beautiful gleaming hair falling like a curtain.

"Then, I'll be here to comfort Beron about the loss of his pretty bride," Säde answered with a shrug.

"I don't know what you see in him," Lucasta muttered, her lips rolling back over her teeth in disgust.

"I don't know what you saw in Helion either, he's beyond _boring_ with his rehearsed love-talk," Oriana intervened with a roll of her eyes.

All three sisters looked at each other, then they erupted in unexpected laughter, delighting in the prospect that if it all went well, they'll have the lives of their choices.

They spent the next three days packing, apologising to their father, and preparing not for the engagement with High Lord Beron, but planning for Lucasta's escape in the middle of the night. The message had been sent thanks to Säde's many contacts across Prythian and had reached Helion safely. There was no answer – it was far too risky – but Lucasta didn't doubt that he would save her from this horrendous engagement.

The three days passed like a flash in their long, immortal lives. Lucasta watched, her heart tight in her chest, the mansion where she had grown up, where she had spent her youth and best years, knowing she would probably never see it again. Anxiety rose, which her delighted mother put on the pre-marital nerves.

As expected, they were received like royalties by High Lord Beron who wasted no time in parading in his court with his new bride at his side. The three sisters spent the rest of the day preparing, putting on their brand new gowns, the most beautiful they had ever worn, for the feast in honour of Lucasta and her engagement to High Lord Beron. Or rather, considering the congratulations they received during the entire evening, the feast in honour of High Lord Beron himself and his future, powerful heirs.

It was the only thing on people's minds.

Lucasta didn't listen, didn't hear, all sounds resonated around her as Beron announced their engagement, kissing her hand. The applauds of the entire court were muted, far away in the back of her mind.

When she raised her head, her gaze met Helion's across the room, a silent understanding passed between them. He was distracted when an envoy from the Day Court came to him, but that gaze was all the confirmation Lucasta had needed. Helion would come, he would be there tonight, to save her from this hell.

Guests from all around Prythian had been invited, as well as their Fae allies from the Continent and the island of Hybern. Their king in particular had brought lascivious gifts that delighted Beron. With the new trade roads and his new wife, he was beyond bliss.

That night, silent as a mouse, quick as a deer, Lucasta escaped from her new luxurious chambers – right next to the High Lord's who was far too drunk to hear a thing – and sneaked out of the palace. She didn't cross a soul and found her way to the labyrinth that she had explored so often, in day as much as night, that she found her way even with the moon hidden by clouds.

She stopped by the fountain where she had first met Helion. She looked around. He wasn't here yet. She breathed deeply, then sat on the bench, swallowing hard as she glanced in the darkness. His gaze had met hers, a silent understanding had come between them. He liked her, as she liked him. He would be here soon.

The night went on and on, the sky was paling on the horizon when Lucasta heard running steps. She raised her face but the scent, as familiar as it was, wasn't Helion's.

Out of breath, Säde and Oriana appeared and saw their little sister. Alone, shaking, and shattered.

"…He didn't come…" Lucasta breathed, her words forming a fog in front of her mouth.

"Oh no…"

"Lucasta…"

"I was so certain he would, I thought… I thought…"

Her voice broke and she buried her face in her hands, sobbing. Säde and Oriana were immediately at her side, hugging her and reassuring her the best they could. They were so lost in their anguish that they didn't hear the steps getting closer.

"What's this?"

Oriana was the first one standing up, followed closely by Säde and Lucasta, whose face was still ravaged by tears.

They faced, trembling, High Lord Beron and his close guards. He was still wearing the clothes he had gone to sleep in from the previous night, he still reeked of alcohol, but he didn't stagger anymore. He sniffed the air, sensing nothing but the three ladies' scents and the morning dew.

"What are you doing out here, before dawn?" he asked, his voice full of threat.

Säde and Oriana glanced at each other, panicked, looking for an excuse. It was Lucasta, unexpectedly, broken and shivering, who stepped forward and raised her head. And despite her messy hair and the still gleaming tears on her face, she looked as regal as all the Ladies of the Autumn Court who had come before her. There was power in her gaze, there was fire in her soul. Beron's lips trembled in a satisfied smile witnessing it, and Lucasta's two sisters couldn't help their instincts: they stepped backwards and bowed their heads to their sister. Not yet wed to the High Lord of the Autumn Court, but his Lady already.

"I was nervous for the wedding, my lord. I couldn't sleep and I asked my sisters to join me for an early walk." She said, not the slightest tremor in her voice to reveal her lie.

Beron walked the distance between them and his hand, cold as dawn, passed over her wet cheeks. There was nothing tender about the gesture. He took her chin in his hand and lifted it for her gaze to meet his. Any other male would have made Lucasta feel empowered by doing this, but when it was Beron, he striped any power she had with a touch of his fingers.

"And those tears? What caused them?" he asked, suspicion still lacing his words like venom, like a snake ready to strike the moment she made a wrong move.

"Thoughts of the wedding night," she breathed, lowering her gaze and knowing without looking that he smirked, "I would hate to disappoint you, my lord."

"Don't worry, Lucasta, I will teach you how to please me." He answered, letting go of her chin.

She raised her gaze again, defiant, but his back was already turned around.

"Go back to the estate, even on my territory, it's not safe to walk alone without protection." He said, followed by his guards.

They followed from a distance, and Säde took a step forward to be on the same level as her sister.

"Lucasta…" she whispered, eyes wide, "What about…"

"He didn't come," Lucasta breathed so only her sisters could hear, or perhaps her voice was too weak from pain to talk any louder, "I don't have any choice but to go through with this marriage or our family is ruined. Do you hate me?"

"Hate you? No, never, I could never hate you, Lucasta. You're my little sister… all I want is your happiness…"

"My happiness was wretched from my hands the moment I was born. That is our fates, as females, to serve our lords and fathers, rather than our own hearts." Lucasta answered, a hiss in her voice.

"I hate this world," Oriana snarled, facing forward.

Her sisters didn't answer, the silent agreement thrumming in the air strongly enough that their veins burnt and the air around them warmed up.

A few days later, after the great preparations, the Autumn Court celebrated the wedding of their powerful High Lord and his new, beautiful Lady Lucasta.

Her demeanour had changed radically from anyone who knew her, now bowing their heads to their new Lady who had no choice but to embrace a mask of cold wrath. Her heart had been torn apart by the only male she had loved and trusted. And the one she would share her bed with had no interest in her besides expecting heirs and obedience.

Whispers of the Lady of Autumn waiting for a male, in the dead of night, a male she had met only a year ago during the Equinox Ball, were already running in all and every court. But Beron waved it off as nothing as the wedding night drew closer.

He wasn't as drunk as Lucasta would have expected, and she couldn't tell if it was better or worse. She let him paw at her wedding dress, tearing it off and burning what wouldn't go off. And he had her. It was painful, hateful, and her soul felt like it tried to crawl out of her body. She closed her eyes, silent tears running down her cheeks as she thought of Helion, one last time, one last thought, before she succumbed and devoted herself to her husband.

Beron's cold and clammy hand fell on her cheek, forcing her head to turn to him. He was grinning, as if reading her thoughts, as if _enjoying_ that she had been broken-hearted only to fall into the excruciating pit of matrimony.

"The pain will go away soon," he said against her mouth.

She had to hold back the reflex of rolling back her own lips and snarl.

The pain would not go away.

It was the beginning of her Hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the first proper chapter. The first three chapters are about Lucasta, Helion, (baby Lucien) and Beron because I will need it for later and if I had added those chapters later on, it would have braked the story's momentum.
> 
> I hope you will enjoy them.
> 
> Next chapter : A Mother's Sacrifice
> 
> Yours Truly,
> 
> May


	3. A Mother's Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter on Lucasta and Helion.
> 
> WARNING!! Rape, psychological and physical violence, war
> 
> Next week is an intensive curating week at uni so I don't think I'll be able to write or post anything. I'll post the next chapter as soon as possible, either this weekend, or after the intensive week. (not that my posting is consistent to begin with anyway lol)

FANFICTION

A COURT OF NIGHTMARES AND LIGHT

PART III – THE BLOOD MOON

CHAPTER XXXIV : A Mother's Love

The weeks turned into months, months turned into years, days and days and days of celebration, hunting parties, gatherings and meaningless life went on and on and on. Almost each night Beron expected Lucasta to open her legs for him, and almost every day he ignored her for his hunting parties, celebrations, friends, courtiers, and whores.

Lucasta didn't mind the little time they spent together, she actually appreciated the freedom it offered her. She visited the estate and its surrounding area a lot, though she could never go too far away from Beron's leash. She would often go to the nearest villages and cities to meet the people, offer food and hear their pleas. The people loved her, almost as much as they feared their High Lord. But in Prythian, fear was stronger than love.

Perhaps that was why Helion had never come to her that night. That last gaze they had exchanged had been the last time she had seen him. After that day, he went back to the Day Court and another courtier took his place as Emissary. No letter, no message, nothing ever came from Helion. So she stopped hoping, crushing her heartbeats for him into silence.

She had one duty: being the Lady of the Court of Autumn. Be an obedient wife. Become the mother of the future High Lord.

Beron was more and more frustrated by her inability to produce a child, even knowing that it was so rare for High Fae, even with all the fertility potions she took to please him, it was difficult.

It took seven years in their wedding for her scent to change. It was the morning after the fertility ritual of the Mabon festivities. Sore and exhausted from the previous night's ceremony and events, she rose with a light groan, put on her nightgown, and moved to the breakfast tray that had been brought to her. A few minutes later, growling and whining about the sun rising too early, Beron got up as well and put on pants.

He approached her and sniffed the air, freezing completely.

"They have brought your favourite breakfast, my lord," Lucasta said at a loss for word at his strange behaviour.

He took a deep, deep breathe, face twisted in concentration. Then he fell on his knees and grabbed her waist. He pulled her closer to himself and she almost lost her balance on the chair. She gasped and flushed, embarrassed by his unexpected attention when some servants still roamed the room.

"Finally…" he whispered, burying his head in her lap.

She put her hands over his head, to push him away, but understanding melted her resolve. Her heart missed a beat and as he rose his head, a huge grin on his face, she put her hand on her tummy. Still flat, still nothing, still a secret for anyone who was outside this room.

"My heir…" Beron whispered, leaning forward, and grabbing her thin waist possessively.

Lucasta's smile and laugh echoed in the room, overjoyed for the first time since her marriage to Beron. More than joy, it was a happiness she had never felt in her entire life. She was becoming a mother.

In a mere ten months, she would hold her baby against her chest. This small bundle of hope was enough to make all those years, all those tears, worth it.

Beron put a spell on her to ensure no one, and especially not enemies, would know of her condition, but a few months later, as she started showing, he announced in a massive ball his soon-to-be heir. He had never been more loving, more tender, than he was with Lucasta in the months that followed. She lost count of the number of times when she caught him staring at her, or staring at her growing belly, and a smile never cease to pull on her lips at the attention, at the spark of pride in Beron's eyes.

Her sisters and her mother were ecstatic, of course. Oriana had married three years ago and was hoping for a child soon, though patience was necessary for such a blessing. Säde was still one of the greatest jewels of the Autumn Court and now that she was not just Meallan's daughter, but also the sister of the Lady of the Autumn Court, boxes and boxes of jewels, dresses and exotic gifts piled up for her. She didn't seem inclined on settling down yet, appreciating the attention that Beron had stopped giving her some time after his marriage with Lucasta.

The ten months went by so quickly, and Lucasta endured with barely any scream or tears the birth of her first son: Eris Vanserra, heir of the Autumn Court.

Those last few months she had been certain that her heart had mended, and she had fallen in love again, with her son, but the moment she held him in her arms, the wriggling, crying, red-faced baby, she realised that any love she had ever felt was nothing in comparison to the love she felt for that small, innocent soul.

Beron wasted no time in announcing the birth of a son, and as soon as Lucasta had recovered enough, he expected her in bed again.

And Hell was back.

He was lenient at first, when she refused him, claiming exhaustion and the need to take care of Eris, but Beron quickly grew impatient. His voice was firmer, harsher, orders she couldn't refuse. His grip on her arm was tighter. He wouldn't push her into the bed, he would throw her onto it. She tried to fight it back at first, obviously, with her mere strength and her fire, but his power was stronger. His fists were too much. And despite the tears of pain and despair, she endured it all. For herself, and for Eris. He needed his mother to be strong enough so he wouldn't become anything like Beron. She would swear it to herself, night after night, after night, after night…

Anything she endured, it was for Eris. For Eris. For Eris. For her light. Her joy. Her everything.

Luckily, it didn't take long for Lucasta to be with child again. Only a year and a half after Eris' birth, Beron was elated once more, and tender once more, and gentle once more. They waited a few weeks, for the court's doctor to inspect Lucasta body with a magic that was beyond anything she could understand.

"The baby is growing in perfect health, my Lord and Lady." He announced after having a look in her body.

Lucasta's smile of relief and joy appeared on her face, her hand already caressing the small bump.

"What's the gender of the baby?" Beron asked, a few feet away from the bed, his hands behind his back.

"A girl, my Lord. Congratulations."

Lucasta's eyes sparkled, already listing the names of baby girls she had grown fond of. Beron's frown was a sudden storm cloud, darkening her sun. Instinctively, her hand tightened over her tummy.

"I don't want a girl. I only want male heirs. Get rid of it." He ordered, turning around.

Lucasta's blood turned cold and she sat straighter in the bed, her eyes widening.

"B-but, my Lord…" The doctor stammered.

"What? I just asked you to get rid of that child."

"Though at this stage the procedure would be mostly benign… there is still a risk, for the mother to undergo consequences…" The doctor explained slowly.

"What sort of consequences?"

"Infertility, inability to have a child again. Though Lady Lucasta is still young and in good health, there is a minor risk."

Beron seemed to ponder it for a moment, but then he shook his head.

"She's young and fertile. Make sure she doesn't die and can still have children. Proceed with my order."

"Beron!" Lucasta exclaimed, standing up suddenly.

He whipped towards her so suddenly, she froze. She had never raised her voice against him, she had never asked anything, never pleaded for anything. She put her hands over his forearm, his frown deepening.

"Please, no! Don't do that! There _is_ a risk, even minor! And I… I… I don't want to lose this child! Please…"

"I don't need a useless, emotional girl. I need heirs to ensure my throne goes to my kin."

"Beron, I never asked anything of you, I am begging you–"

"THIS IS AN ORDER!" He shouted.

He whipped around, his hand flying and hit Lucasta's temple. The hit was so violent she fell against a table and chairs flipped down. Her hand immediately went to her tummy, ignoring the warm blood rolling down her temple. Nurses, servants, and the doctor ran to her to help her up but Beron was unshakable:

"Get rid of that child. This is an order!" he hissed.

"No! NO! Beron, NO! PLEASE! NO!"

She cried, sobbed, begged, and screamed, but nothing would have him listen. He ignored her pleas, and the doctor, having no choice but compel to the will of his High Lord, had her asleep not long after. She was still crying when she lost consciousness. The procedure was quick and a success. The unwanted child was gone, and she had suffered no consequence.

Lucasta, in the weeks that followed, was a hollow shell. The only reason why Beron agreed to give her time was because the doctor lied in the recovery time she would need and because he got distracted with the annual Autumn Hunt.

Lucasta's only relief and joy was that Eris was safe and sound and all right and away from all this blood and chaos. She would go to him everyday, take him from his nurse's arms, and she would cuddle him and sing to him for hours and hours and hours, until both were asleep. His big brown eyes, so innocent, watched her with so much love and awe, it broke her heart that she had lost her baby because of Beron's cruel selfishness.

When Beron returned from the long weeks of hunting, he had expected to find his wife obedient and recovered. Instead, she was standing, rigid as a rock, on the furthest side of her bedroom.

"I was expecting you in my chambers tonight," he said, frowning as he approached her from behind, quietly, like a hunter ready to strike his prey.

"I had assumed one of your whores would have kept you company, my lord." She answered without moving.

He grabbed her shoulder and forced her around, sneering in her face. He almost started to see the fire burning in her russet eyes. It wasn't anything like his power, his cruelty, his superiority. It was pure fury, hatred for everything he was.

" _You_ …" he hissed, abruptly grabbing her face with one hand, "You have a duty, to me, your husband and your High Lord and it is to give me heirs. Go in my chamber right this instant to execute this duty!"

"So you can kill my baby another time?!" she exclaimed, pushing him away.

"Is this what this is about?! I need heirs, _male_ heirs! Not useless females!" he shouted.

"I cannot control such things, taking a child away from me is _wrong_ and _cruel_ –"

"You– how dare you question your High Lord! Your husband!"

She turned around to face him, her red hair like rising flames but he was already grabbing her. She fought back, scratching his face, spitting at him, trying to kick but fire erupted from his hands, hot enough that it burnt her. A scream escaped her, and it was the opening he needed to force her around and ripped her dress. Lucasta sobbed, from the pain and the shame. Beron held her down as he forced her to execute her duty. It was painful, even more than her wretched wedding night. She scratched the table and tried to get away, but he would only strengthen his grip on her.

Once he was done with her, he just left her to fall on her knees on the floor, her torn clothes barely able to cover her bruising body. Her sobs didn't cease, her head bowed down, as he smoothed his clothes and hair.

"Deny me again, and Eris will be the one to get burnt. Understood?" he growled.

Her sobs ceased. She never answered this threat and he didn't wait for any. As the door closed, she raised her head, her eyes burning again, despite the still-wet tears on her face.

She hated him, she hated him, she hated him, _she hated him_ –

But Eris, Eris, Eris… She loved him and everything she did, everything she suffered was so he could keep on smiling, so he could keep on looking at her with his big, innocent eyes. He deserved the world and all the happiness. If only she could protect him from Beron's wrath.

Lucasta didn't like Beron, he was a cruel and pathetic snake, but there was something even worse with the King of Hybern and his emissaries. She couldn't explain why they seemed so off, why she was so reluctant, each and every time they were invited to the Autumn Court.

Perhaps it was because of that accident this one time. She had been looking for Eris for a while, all his nurses had no idea where he was. There was no use asking Beron, he wouldn't even deign answer her request. She eventually found her beautiful toddler, far away from his usual quartiers, and he wasn't alone. An envoy from Hybern was giving some sort of snack to Eris, the small child eagerly accepting it. It was the smile, that huge, wicked smirk, that made Beron's cruelty pale in comparison, that spurn her to act.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lucasta shouted, her fire erupting from her hands.

Hybern's High Fae screamed as he got burnt and she ran to Eris who started crying, panicked by the sudden action. She held him up and looked down at the male who was wiggling, screeching insults and attracting guards and courtiers. Rapidly, there was a small crowd, and Beron appeared.

"What is the meaning of this?!" he shouted, eyes going from the injured guest to his wife.

"He was attacking Eris!" she answered, tightening her grip on her young son, still quietly sobbing against her shoulder (even so small, he already knew to smother his cries around Beron).

"I wasn't! I wasn't, you evil bitch! You whore! You–"

" _Silence!"_ Beron exclaimed, looking down at him and fire appearing at his fists, "What did he do to my heir and son?!"

"He tried to poison Eris!" Lucasta exclaimed, whispers already travelling in the entire court of what had just happened.

Beron looked down at the male, his eyes lighting up in a fiery rage that his family, his heir, his pride, had been attacked.

"I wasn't! I swear, my lord! I was only… only giving him a fruit from the Island of Hybern! He likes sweet fruits, so I decided to offer him one! That is all!"

He pointed his burnt hand towards the half-burnt red apple that had rolled on the floor. Beron picked it up, sniffed it, then glanced at Lucasta with a sneer on his face.

"An apple. A simple apple."

And those simple words were enough to send shivers down her back. She held Eris even closer to her chest, hiding his baby face against her shoulder. Beron threw the apple down at her feet, the promise of what was yet to come. He didn't bother helping the injured male as he walked away, followed by his courtiers.

Lucasta felt shame warm her cheeks, and tears prickle her eyes, but when the burnt male looked over his shoulder, with that grin, _that wicked grin_ , she sobered up. She knew she hadn't missed the threat, Hybern _was_ dangerous, and Prythian had invited the monsters right into their courts.

Beron punished her for her actions, of course. And of course, Hybern didn't show any more threat, which only proved to Beron that he had married a foolish wife.

Then she was with child again. Beron was sweet and tender again. And she shook every time she put her hand on her belly, waiting in agony for the three months to pass to determine the baby's health and gender. The relief she felt when the doctor said it was a male was enough to make her cry for hours afterwards. Beron merely nodded and smiled, then went back to his occupations.

As her pregnancy went on, Beron's protectiveness intensified. Tensions were rising against Hybern. Until one night screams woke her up. Her hands went to her big belly and the smell of blood and smoke immediately rose her up.

"Eris! _Eris!"_ She screamed, hurrying to another room where she knew he was.

"Mommy! Mommy!" he called in return.

She turned around but Beron was walking away with Eris crying out for her. Beron put Eris in his most trusted and powerful general's arms, and they disappeared in the smoke.

"ERIS!"

Beron turned towards her, barely spared her a glance, and gave his orders. Another general winnowed to her and before she could do anything, he was winnowing yet again. She saw the estate in flames, screams of an attack. And they winnowed, again and again. She was sick, from distress and because of her condition, but he barely waited.

They finally arrived in the deepest part of the forest, in a small cabin, where nothing, not even the stars could be seen.

"Where is Beron?! Where is my son?! What's going on?!" she asked frenetically, rubbing her tummy.

The stress was terrible for the baby and he kept kicking her, expressing his worry for his mother.

"Hybern has attacked. High Lord Beron has sent his family in all corners of Autumn to be kept safe."

Cold shivers ran down her back. She was sweating and dizzy. She leaned on a table and she bit her lower lip.

"The baby… the baby is coming…" she breathed into the night.

"What?" The general asked, baffled.

"The baby is coming!" she exclaimed, feeling the vaguely familiar pain of childbirth contracting her body.

"This isn't the right time, hold it back," he answered with a wave of his hand.

She glared at him, baring her teeth. He startled and took a step back.

"I am in the middle of nowhere and my baby is about to be born. Go get a doctor right this instant, or you'll have to assist the birth yourself!"

He hesitated, obviously conflicted, then decided that risking his High Lord's wrath was better than attempting being a midwife.

He winnowed away, and a few minutes later, guards surrounded her, panicked more by her screams of pain than by the possibility of being attacked by Hybern, as hidden as they were. The doctor and three midwives arrived next and they got to work.

It was faster than for Eris', but far more painful. She held her baby boy at dawn, tears streaming down her face as he screamed and screamed even if he was born too soon.

"Altan," she whispered to which he wailed even more.

She sobbed in joy as a midwife took the baby from her. She leaned against her pillows as the general came back and turned to the doctor.

"I'll take the young heir to his decided location," he said.

"W-wait," Lucasta stammered, trying to sit up.

She didn't have time to call her baby's name, his crying was the last thing she heard as they winnowed away. Her shout of pain made birds fly away.

The hours of crying turned into dull days, which turned into stressful weeks in hiding. They changed locations often, and never told her where her babies were. Eris and Altan. Were they safe? Were they far away from the battles, the war?

Before she knew it, months had gone by, months in hiding, recovering, and running away. The war continued and the High Lords fought against Hybern for the humans in the South. Eventually, she was brought back to a mansion she thought she would never see again.

"Father!" she shouted, running across the courtyard.

Despite the anger of what her parents had done to her, the relief of seeing them, of seeing them safe and sound and in their estate, was beyond compare. They hugged her and soon, Säde and Oriana ran to her as well and they fell in a leap on the floor, hugging and crying. Lucasta asked after her babies, but her father only knew that Beron was safe and sound (which she didn't care about) and had put the children to safety all this time.

"I hated knowing you scattered around Prythian, being unable to protect you. Beron is too busy with the war to ensure your safety. I had to have you back." Meallan explained that evening.

"I don't think Beron cares about my safety," she mumbled.

"He does! He kept you safe all this time! And so are Eris and Altan! You must have faith in him!" her mother exclaimed, clapping her hands over her daughter's.

She wasn't wrong, and as long as Eris and Altan were safe, Lucasta would be all right, but… but… she couldn't help but feel that _she_ should be with them. Not some random general who would traumatize them.

Her father had protected the house in the forest, deep and far away from the battles. Beron had agreed on letting Lucasta go there, as long as she was protected by many soldiers.

Somehow, Hybern found out.

They attacked the same night. With ash-arrows they ruthlessly eliminated every soldier, from Beron and Meallan. The latter was on his way for a battlefield but Lucasta's mother, despite all her wrongs, died to give her daughters time to escape.

Strangely, as they ran in the forest, in the middle of the night, pursued by Hybern's soldiers, Lucasta thought back on all the times, her sisters and herself, had played hide and seek in those woods. They had grown up here, they knew every stone, every river, every boulder, every hiding place. There was no way they wouldn't make it out of here, Hybern would–

A shriek resonated behind her and she turned around.

Oriana, and her long hair, laid on the forest ground.

"Oriana, NO!" Lucasta screamed.

"GO! GO ON!" Säde shouted, grabbing her and sobbing.

They kept running, their soldiers and guards long gone. They arrived at an intersection. Hybern's men were far behind but it was a question of seconds before they would catch up.

"G-go uphill, and hide in the cave, you know the one," Säde said, looking in the opposite direction.

Lucasta grabbed her arm, stopping her.

"Come with me! Y-you… there's only an open field downhill! We need to stay together, Säde!"

She turned around and grabbed her little sister's face. Tears streamed down her face, but determination shone in her eyes.

"I am not so easily defeated, little sister. You are the Lady of the Autumn Court and you have two sons who are waiting for your return. Go to the cave, you'll be safe there!"

"N-no!"

"GO!"

"Over there!" One of Hybern's soldiers shouted.

"For your sons," Säde breathed as she tore herself away from Lucasta's tight grip.

She ran downhill, screaming and making noise. When Lucasta heard the soldiers approaching, she panicked and bolted upwards. Half hidden behind rocks, she spared a look and saw all Hybern's men going downhill, after her sister.

 _For my sons, for Eris and Altan_ , Lucasta thought to herself as she ran faster and faster, upwards and onwards.

_She will be fine, she will be fine, she will be fine, she will be fine, she will be–_

The scream of agony that resonated in the forest made Lucasta halt. She fell on her knees, covering her mouth to smother her sobs even as she felt her chest cave into the pain.

Her sisters, her mother, her family, her children–

Leaves moved somewhere behind her, followed by clicking armour. She stopped breathing, she stopped crying. Tears and grief would come later, right now, she needed to survive to return to her boys.

She ran faster, faster, faster, higher and ran desperately across the cold and violent river. She slipped and was almost taken away but her hand grabbed a sharp rock. Blood ran down the stone and into the water and she pulled herself, and pushed against the current. Her dress weighed her down but she managed to go over the other side of the river and ran, the wet dress frigid against her heavy legs.

She heard faraway shouts, the words indistinguishable. But she went on and on and on. For Eris and Altan. For Eris and Altan, for Eris and Altan–

She stumbled down, twisting her ankle. A scream escaped her and she fell down the side of the hill side, straight into a pool of half frozen water. She gasped and struggled, swimming against the icy water. The waterfall was half frozen, some of it trickling down, but there was a way into the cave. The safest place in the environs, no one would know. No one knew except Säde and Oriana and– No one else–

She climbed over the rocks, through the half-frozen waterfalls, and hid behind a rock just as she heard voices above the waterfall. She gathered herself and put her legs through her arms, holding her breathe.

"I saw her going here!"

"There's no one!"

"She fell down here!"

Lucasta bit her lower lip until she drew blood, smothering her sob. Screams and shouts of pain suddenly erupted. She rose her head, still not daring to breath or make the slightest sound.

The waterfall suddenly turned crimson as blood filled its water.

More screams and sounds of battle. Men fell down, thrown around. Clicking metals and weapons. Screams and shouts and blood and–

The brightest light that had ever been erupted from outside the cave. Lucasta gasped and hid her face.

She heard the waterfall running down violently first. Then, she felt the humid heat, pearling against her skin and she realised that her clothes were almost dry and she was sweating and shivering.

A silhouette appeared on the other side of the waterfall. She gasped and tried to bury herself into the rock, frightened.

The water fell around the silhouette as he stepped into the cave.

Lucasta stopped breathing, not out of fear this time, but shock.

No one knew about the hidden cave behind the waterfall. No one knew except Säde and Oriana and–

"Helion," she breathed, watching her saviour as he gazed down at her with a face twisted in remorse and guilt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baby Eris!  
> Altan is a Turkish name meaning "Red Dawn" :)
> 
> Next chapter : A Mother's Sacrifice
> 
> Yours Truly,
> 
> May

**Author's Note:**

> I had planned on posting the prologue and chapter 1 of Part III but it's midnight and I'm tired so I'll reread Ch.1 tomorrow, it'll come very very soon I promise!


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